Thursday, November 5, 2009

Righteousness

This is a word that as the church we tend to throw around a whole lot, but how many actually understand what it means and furthermore live a life seeking it? I have been challenged with this most of my Christian life. I figured that it was an unattainable standard that was used to make us feel condemned because of our sin. Also with the term I tend to think of it as a status or a system that we use to rank people. So basically, I buried this notion of striving to be righteous in the very depths of my mind, closed that door and tried to veil it as ignorance so I would not have to be burdened with this obligation which I could never complete. I was happy with this order of things, it made everything controllable, clean, and comfortable but the beauty of a growing relationship with the Father is that he ever so loves me that He always allows past issues to surface. He led me to the parable of the Two Sons...

“What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’

‘I will not,” he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.

Which of the two did what his father wanted?”“The first,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.

Jesus was in a temple speaking to the chief priests and I love how he starts with a question. He is encouraging them to look inward at themselves. How they answered the question speaks loud and clears of the state of their heart; and of mine. I can admit that I would have chosen similar but right after that thought God spoke to me and said, “I am looking for hearts that are willing to seek after me.” I always assumed that the most important thing was doing what God asks of me but He really convicted me; God is seeking to change our hearts. There is no value in the acts that we do if we are not first seek to glorify God. My next question was, well how do I do that?
Righteousness cannot be earned because I cannot do it in my strength. The good thing about this is that when you allow Jesus to take you into the depths of your being and allow Him to transform your heart, he can make you righteous. All that he asks of us is to respond to his prompting, invite him into your life and seek him with all your heart, mind and soul. Righteousness is made beautiful by its simplicity; it means to live a life that is pleasing to God. It does not give you status; it will not make you invincible but rather it will break you and bring you to your knees. When you realize that it is not about you but about what He did. Amen!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Perserverence

God showed me the pattern of my life; that I always choose the path that is the easiest, the path that has the fastest outcome and the path that I know I can do in my own strength. I have been shown that there is no glory for God in that, I was being selfish and was only seeking self gratification. I had taken the things that God had given me, that He intended to work with me and I just took it and tried to do it in my own strength. When God showed me this He reminded me of the youth church that my youth group had tried to start a couple of years ago and how discouraged in God when it didn’t work out. I had played the blame game and had blamed everyone else but did not look inward to find the truth. Then this week we have been talking about destiny and God reminded me of this and I really felt convicted about my sin that had played a part. God was showing me that my pride and laziness had played a huge part in why the church felt like a failure. I was counting on the church to boost my image and pride and was not concerned with what God really thought. God had included me in His dream for the youth of this town and I totally ignored Him and was more concerned with me than giving glory to God. I had made it a personal burden and by having that view I completely poisoned it and sucked the life out of something that was meant to bring life. The great thing about God is that He is patient and He is kind, He forgives and brings freedom. He does not bring to light the faults in our lives to bring shame or guilt but brings things to the light so that we can be set free and so we can try again. Amen. Today I heard an amazing quote that when God forgives us He takes the sin, buries it at the bottom of the ocean then sticks a sign that says “no fishing here”. I love that, when God forgives He means forever!
So the season, actually I don’t even think that this lesson is just for this season in my life but He is calling me to a life of unbound faith; the faith to believe for the impossible. God is calling me to walk the steepest path, the path that will leave me weak, bloody and desperate but it will be the most fulfilling. He is calling me to a destination that is unknown so I can appreciate the importance and the beauty of the process or journey that refines me and gives all glory to Him. Amen.
I am so ready to leave myself at the cross, pick up my mat and walk! Jesus you are all I need, you are the living water that ends all thirst. You restore your promises, you have been unrelenting in my pursuit, I am so in love with you. I am ready to tell the world of my amazing God. You are a God that loves not by feeling but by commitment. Thank you so much for loving me even when I was more in love with sin. I want to love how you love, I want to detest what you detest. You are my Abba, now and forever!
Love, Sherri.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Father Heart of God



This week we looked at the Father Heart of God and looked at what a relationship with the Father is suppose to look like. The biggest thing that was revealed to me about my relationship with God is that is has been about the chase. The pattern my life has taken is to search after God and find out who He is but the moment I feel Him working on my heart, my heart hardens to Him. So this week was a really emotional week for me because the first day I could feel my heart hardening and it was a constant battle just to keep my mind focussed on the lesson. Then on Wednesday I was just so exhausted from this constant fight that I stayed in bed and cried. As I laid there God reminded me of the verse he has given me last week, which was Romans 8. As I read over it again God showed me a new meaning to this. He showed me that I was getting my knowledge of who I was from other sources rather than listening to His voice. Then I looked back at Adam and Eve and the tree of knowledge and how God asked Adam, “Who told you that you were naked?” I realized that Adam had chosen to believe another voice that said that he should be ashamed before God but God is saying come to me and I will give you freedom. I think that too often we believe the other voice that tells us who we are and don’t go to our Father who is not distant and angry, but is a complete expression of love. On Friday I was so tired and fed up that I didn’t even want to go to class but I went and I am so glad that I did. We spent the day just waiting on the Father and at the end of the class we got to go to the speaker and get a Fathers blessing. As they were praying for me someone grabbed my arm really hard and they said “He has got you!” That moment I just felt my heart soften and my mind was silent all the worry was gone. Knowing God is so much better that the chase. Being able to ask the question, “who am I?” knowing that I will get the answer is an amazing gift. Don’t be afraid to know God because He is so excited for the day that you choose Him and let Him show you the world.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Adam and Eve

PSALM 51:16-17
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

I am so amazed by the mercy of God. He is so in love with us. I was reminded today of the story of Adam and Eve and how they truly KNEW God. God shared His creation with them. God even gave the task of naming the animals to Adam; God had a real relationship with Adam. I can picture Adam throwing out names to God and Him smiling and laughing with Adam. I love this story because it is such a pure example of the relationship that God desires to have with us. Then you read about how sin came in and how Adam, who truly knew God, still chose temptation. When I had read this story before I really wondered why God would put a tree in the garden that could destroy such an amazing relationship. But if you think about how vast and wide the garden would have been. I don’t think that it was just a few trees and shrubs here and there, no God would have had the most lavish garden farther than our eyes can see. His garden would have the most beautiful things and the most delicious fruit and amongst all of that beauty was one tree and this was the only tree in the whole garden that God said not to eat. God told them not to eat of it because it would only bring death upon and separation from Him. Even then I would ask, but why would God allow that tree to exist in His garden? I believe it was because God loved us enough to give us freedom. God wanted us to desire after Him, to have thoughts and opinions. What I love the most is that after Adam and Eve eat of the forbidden fruit God still seeks for them.
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they had hid from the LORD God among the trees in the garden. But the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”.(Genesis 3:8-9) Wow I can hear the grief in Gods voice. I wonder what it sounded like to hear God walking or what tone God used when He asked where they were. He already knew what Adam and Eve had done and He knew where they were but still He cries out to Adam.
Adam answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”(Genesis 3:10-11) I love that God was asking questions not because He didn’t know the answers but it was for Adams benefit.
Then Adam responds, “The woman you put here with me, she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”(Genesis 3:12) Adam is blaming God and the women and not owning up to what he has done. And you can already see the difference in the relationship with Adam and God; the instant separation. God in the same way that He called out for Adam I believe that He is calling out for everyone today.
He knows where we are and how we got there but He desires us to see how He sees our lives. The God that laughed with Adam wants that closeness with us. God wants us to own up to what we have done, not to bring condemnation but to bring us forgiveness and healing so that you can have a relationship. God knows the paths that we have taken, He knows what has led us to sin and why we made the decisions to sin,so we shouldn’t be afraid to come to Him with all our dirty sin and broken hearts. We can never surprise God. He knows all about our lives, He has been waiting for us to cry out. God knows that sin tastes good and that our temptations are real but He has called us to so much more. God has called us to life! God desires us to walk with Him, to know His heart, and to know His everlasting love but He loves us so much that He gave us the great gift of freedom to choose. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life (Romans 6:23). So there it is God being a gentleman, He loves us enough to let us choose.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Awakening

This week is all about hearing the voice of God. I was so excited to start this week because this has been something I have been struggling with for a couple of months now. How do I know that it is really God and not my own thoughts? And one of the best things that I have picked up so far is that it’s so easy and all you have to do is have faith that He wants to talk to you to share His heart for you. I have learned that I have to take the time to get into the Word and to really EXPECT God to speak. A really neat exercise that we did was to read a scripture and to underline words that really jumped out at us and after doing this exercise I noticed that it really started to mean something to me, that it wasn’t just words that I would read over. It allowed me to digest what was happening in the passage and to really feel the meaning behind it. I also realized the importance of living out the word of God. I want to know how Jesus had amazing faith, how He healed people, how He spoke to God and just how he lived his life so that I can do what He did. There are tons of great books on how to hear the voice of God or how to heal the sick but they are just perspectives and interpretations of what the bible says so why not gain your own perspective and to hear from God first hand to see how He wants you to do amazing things. The scripture that I am constantly reminded of is draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. It is that simple. God desires to speak to me and to be in relationship with me to know my opinion. What a great God that waits patiently as we live life and He is just waiting for us to come to Him so He can share His dreams for us.
So as I started asking God to revile what has been blocking me from hearing His voice and I hear guilt. I had no idea that this was even a part of me but at God continued to speak to me I really began to see how much I had been controlled by it. So I was soaking for a bit but I had to go back to class. Our speaker was sick so we decided to start and put what we have learned into practise. So we broke into small groups and started praying over each other. As we were praying someone got a word for me that they saw me in armour fighting this dragon and I ended up slaying this dragon and I said, “that was easy.” In that instant I had conformation from God that what I had heard earlier was Him. This was God telling me that I am to seek Him for strength and to lean on Him when I am burdened. So here I am a mess with blood shot eyes and so emotional over something that an hour ago I had no idea I was dealing with. I could have went my whole life wondering why God’s voice was so distant when all I had to do was ask, “Lord help me see what holds me back from you.” God’s heart is to talk with us about everything. He wants to be the one you go to when your heart is shattered. We were asked to pray for a scripture for what we wanted God to do with us in this time of growth and before I even got here I knew what it was, “Wake O’ sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you.” I had no clue that it would be this fast, we are only in our second week and God has already started to work in me and tear down the walls of my heart. The picture I have is Jesus always next to me excited to get closer to my heart and I am so overwhelmed by His presence and grace. God is so good!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

September 17th, 2009



What an amazing day from God. The day started off with amazing worship than we had communion. Usually when I am in that place of worship God will give me a burden on my heart to really intercede for like a friend, family, or something I come against but here I am just praising Him, thanking Him for this time. Especially today all I can do is humble myself before Him and give praise. While I was in worship I just started writing down my praise and what God was doing through me...
As I take communion I am humbled by His love. Who was I? I defiled His name, I took His word lightly, I worshiped others before Him, yet He still calls me to His courts. What great love. He has called me to the table of honour and has called my daughter. I am a moth drawn to the light. Holy, Holy, Holy. He is my provider, my safe place. To be taken from rags and clothed in righteousness.
What a gift that I, the least of them all can call out to the mountain and the mountain to tremble and fall from the glory of God.
How could a God that created such majesty have a heart that breaks for a fallen people? Such beauty. Holy, Holy, Holy.
... Before I had this experience I knew that I loved missions and it has been a dream of mine to be a full time missionary but I never thought that it was possible. But in this season I know that God is going to show me how the impossible is made possible for those that believe. This is really a time of being awakened by God and to go deeper into His word.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

day 5

September 16th, 2009
What an amazing day spent enjoying Gods wonders. I am continuously having to pinch myself, am I really here right now? I am so BLESSED! Today something that really impacted me was staring out at the ocean as it collided with the rock cliff and not being able to wrap my brain around the greatness and the majesty of God. How can something so violent be peaceful at the same time? I could just stare out for hours with the wind hitting my face. God is just all around me here and it is so refreshing. And the same God that causes such beauty is my Father and desires my heart! It’s crazy! Oh I hope to have pictures up soon, I am just having a little problem with importing:S

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Day 4

Day 4
Today I am reminded of how blessed I am and how much I have taken for granted. I have gone through life with this sense that I am entitled to things like freedom and even love but it is really a gift. Today I have heard so many testimonies from my peers about their time on the mission’s field and it is truly humbling. So many young people don’t have the opportunity to hear about the love of Jesus. I can’t imagine living a life apart from the constant reassurance that my Father that loves me has a life destined for me. It is truly amazing!
Since I have got here everyone is asking why God has brought me here and I had been asking that question a lot even before I got here but could not wrap my head around it. Today I really felt like God sent me here to show me his love and give me a taste of the relationship He desires with me. Before I left to come here I was second guessing if this was what God wanted or if it was a selfish desire but just being here and feeling that closeness with God I just can’t stop saying Holy, Holy Holy. I am in awe of His love.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Day 3

Day 3
As I had time to think yesterday and I was asking God why we had grown so far apart He showed me my jezebel spirit. I had taken His word and His commandants and had changed it to suit me. I had changed them so that I would be comfortable with them and it would be easy. I had found a way to justify my actions and through that I was not after what God sees as righteous. With my friends I had compromised with what I believed in and did things that I had recognized as sin but though my own justification made it alright. I started drinking with my friends saying that as long as I didn’t get drunk that I was okay, or joking about my faith and not taking it seriously. So it started when I was listening to Corey Russell’s sermon Raising up Prophets and he started speaking about the Jezebel spirit in the church and in the youth, I felt such conviction. He will not compromise His kingdom for the one I have built. So I turn it over to you God. I want to be right with God. I want to see what He sees, and I want my heart to break with Him. God is good. He had to take me around the world to hear His voice again, but that is one thing about my Father, He will do what it takes. If this was the only reason for this journey that it was so worth it but I know that his work in me has just started. I can feel him slowly taking layers off my heart.
1 Kings 16

later that day...
While worshiping this morning God really took me to the next level in worship. Worship is not about chasing a feeling; it’s about honouring God and declaring Him as King. It is really the most holy act that us as sinners can do to honour Him. It’s not about me! AMEN! So I won’t worry about if someone can hear my pitchy voice or if I say the wrong words, I will sing from the heart. What a sweet, sweet sound... Even as I re-read what I have written it is what I have been taught but it just feels like I finally get it?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Ywam Wollongong

Day one. 5:10pm
I know that God was taking me on a journey that would leave me breathless but I had no clue He meant breathless from running to catch a flight! Wow that was a close one, I nearly missed my connecting flight in Washington but God is good all the time! I made it just in time and a window seat to boot! Although those flights seem long, surprisingly they are not boring. Over the sound of small charter, angry people, and crying voices I can hear His voice. I have to hold back my praise and restrain from jumping out of my seat. Jesus flies economy! I have to thank David Haines for his Graham Cooke podcasts, this guy is hilarious! And his word is making time fly. All I can do is smile for the time such as this, my God has set this time in my life aside for Him and I to have some Dad and daughter time. So may every step I take, every minute I am stuck in this plane be spent hearing the voice of God. To my Daddy that guides my steps have all the praise!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Where I'm At---The Beginning

I have always had big dreams. Ya maybe not the kind that most people dream of but for me its everything. Sure it feels like its on another planet and I should be more realistic but when I close my eyes for a moment of clarity in this messy life it is as if I am already there. I want to affect change. I haven't sorted out the Hows or the Wheres of this master plan but I am certain that change is the horizon.

I decided to start blogging so that in a couple of months or years I can remember back to the time that I didn't see the Hows or the Wheres but I had dreams. And maybe I can catch myself if I loose focus. I can remember back to when this naive little girl looking out her bedroom window, wide-eyed, and anxious to see where time will take her. Hopefully I will look at her and smile knowing that the road ahead is exciting and beyond the first draft.

So in a couple of months I hope that I am in school somewhere far away, setting more goals for myself. I hope that I have discovered more about myself. I am closer to my family and God.

Ah here I am. In the moment. The moment in my life that I stand at a crossroads with millions of opportunities waiting on my next move. Kind of intense I know but I cant help it, its the way God wired me. Ya He really cranked up the intensity for this one.